And it's not because we are trying to make life harder for ourselves. It's because it's easier to focus on what we see, in front of us, and blur out the rest. Our mind is looking for the easiest way "out"
We might tell ourselves:
I am stuck, that's my problem.
He/she is the problem, that's my problem.
I just don't have enough money, that's my problem.
I'm angry because YOU made me angry, that's my problem.
Our relationship would be better if he/she just...that's my problem.
I'm stressed all the time because you never help, that's my problem.
I hate my job, that's my problem.
I don't know what I want, that's my problem.
The list goes on and no and it feels so true doesn't it? and it makes sense that it feels true because what we believe is what we feel, and that ultimately guides our actions in our life. But here is the question.. is what we believe true?
Is it true that being stuck is my problem? Or is that the surface problem?
Very often we move into acceptance with our problem before we even give ourselves a chance to take a second look, and this is where we often invite ourselves to the "quick fix" and say:
I'll watch netflix today and deal with it tomorrow! I know you're smirking right now 😏
Don't worry, you're not the only one smirking. We all know we go there from time to time but it is a matter of how often we go there and for how long we decide to stay there, because that my love is within our power to choose.
So what can we do instead?
Here is what I know works. We become comfortable being uncomfortable. What do I mean by that? We do the opposite of that we normally do so that it's no longer comfortable, it becomes uncomfortable. What you normally do you don't even have to think about. It happens automatically because you have done it so many times, also sometimes called a habit. So if you normally accept being stuck then the opposite of that would be not to accept being stuck.
Now here is what happens when we don't do what we normally do. Our mind starts questioning why we move away from comfort into discomfort. The mind might say things lik:
Why can't I just accept that I am stuck.
I have all the evidence to "proof" that I am stuck.
There is nothing I can do about this situation anyways.
A good night sleep will do the trick so leave it for tomorrow.
I'm gonna call a friend to "take my mind of off this"
Some food will do me good right about now.
and again that list too goes on and on. So the key here is to stand guard at the door of your mind and redirect it to something we can call "the good questions" and here are a few examples that I like:
When I say that I am stuck, what do I mean by that? Am I stuck in clay, cement, the floor, glue etc, what am I stuck in?
The reason why I find this question is so powerful is that it activates a different perspective in my mind then the one that is active when I just say that "I am stuck". It awakens the creative side of my brain and this leads me to "start searching" in other areas then I originally did. Now I have to think about what I am actually stuck in instead of just being stuck. I might have to awaken my feelings to feel what it feels like to be stuck right now. Does it feel heavy on my shoulders? Do I feel pulled to the ground? Or do I feel that I can't move?
Here is another question I like to ask myself:
What happened right before I got stuck? Not when I got stuck, but what happened right before?
I find this question very powerful because I am providing myself with a timeline of how long I have been stuck and it also provides me with what happened right before I "got stuck". Why is this important? Because your mind is moved to awaken yet another perspective shifting our focus once again away from "being stuck" to finding answers. Very often this reveals why you actually got stuck, because all of a sudden you become aware of the thoughts, meanings and events that lead you to being stuck.
Here is another powerful question:
If there was a purpose for me being stuck right now what would that be?
Now this is a question where you have to be willing to see, hear and understand your own truth. If you are not willing to do that then don't even bother asking yourself this question. This is such a powerful question but only when you are willing to see, hear and understand your truth. If you are willing but find it a little bit tricky to see the purpose, ask yourself this:
How is being stuck serving me right now?
Does it serve me in a way so that I don't have to take responsibility? Does it serve me in a way so that I have "something to blame"? Does it serve me in a way so that I don't have to do what scares me? Does it serve me in a way where I allow myself relaxation in a way that I normally don't do?
Don't hold back, be honest with yourself and invite yourself to see, hear and understand it all and you will be fully ready for the next question.
Here is another one:
Looking at the answers I wrote to the question above, what insights does that give me?
Here is another part where your truth can be seen, if you want to see it. If being stuck serves me in a way where I allow myself to relax in a way that I normally don't do, then being stuck is not my ACTUAL problem. If being stuck serves me in a way where I don't have to take responsibility, then being stuck is not my ACTUAL problem. If being stuck serves me in a way where I have something to blame, then being stuck is not my ACTUAL problem. Being stuck is the VEHICLE I use to fulfill a need I have.
So now we can ask ourselves this:
Now that I know my ACTUAL problem and how it serves me, what would my life be like right now if I decided a different way to fulfill me need? What if I decided to take responsibility in that place that feels uncomfortable? In what ways would that set me free?
Don't let yourself be fooled by the problem your mind provides you. Ask the good questions, find your truth and set yourself free.
If you need guidance or support you just let me know. You can book a FREE discovery call right here and right now to find your ACTUAL truth.
I hope my words today can serve you in some way ♥️
Love, Emma D'Angeli
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